Wanting to Want It

Do you ever feel like you’re supposed to be “on fire” or “in the zone” with following Jesus all the time? Like somehow if you go to a church service and can’t muster the ability to sing or you’re sitting alone at home and just can’t read your Bible something is wrong with you? Sometimes it seems like the only one struggling with their faith is you. I know because I’ve been there.

Halfway through college I had a mini-crisis of faith. It was mini because I didn’t totally walk away from my faith, but I did struggle pretty deeply with how real it was. This was a time when I had an utter lack of desire to give my life fully to following Jesus. I went to our Campus Pastor and told him what was going on. He gave me some advice that has stayed with me ever since. He said, “Trevor, I know you don’t want to follow Jesus right now, but do you want to want to?” Sounds a little silly, but it was a powerful moment of clarity for me. I didn’t want to follow Jesus, but I did want to want to. From that realization I was able to pray sincerely that God would give me a burning desire to follow him—a prayer he answered over the next couple years.

If you’re in a place right now where you can’t honestly say you really want to receive your life from Jesus and follow him, then take the words of my Campus Pastor to heart. Ask yourself; do you want to want to receive your life from Jesus and follow him? If so, then pray that God will give you a burning passion to be Jesus’ disciple.  Over time God will answer that prayer and help you develop a desire you can only imagine right now.

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About Trevor Lee

Proud to be the husband of a wonderful wife and the father of two great kids. I love to hang out with them, hang out with others, read, lis

Posted on August 8, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The “Christian Life” is a roller coaster because two opposing forces are at work — the Dualism of the Ages (Good [God] versus Evil [Satan]). Sometimes, one force is greater than the other because humans are creatures of weakness and of choice. Sometimes, Good is not as tempting as Evil. Sometimes, Good is not as easy as Evil. The vascillation is not on the part of the Good or the Evil(both God and Satan are constant in their efforts); it is on the part of flexible humanity — meaning us. Yet, it is easier to blame God (God, where are you when I need you?) than Satan (a great tactic of Satan) because Good is a harder choice than Evil — which is the default. At times, I get weary from the battle and just want to forget it all and meander on my own little way without considering either God or Satan. Of course, that attitude is proof of the default at work. The Christian life takes work. It takes work to rely on a greater power (and purpose) than ourselves. It must be recognized, too, that humans are made to fail — failure is the recognition of our need for God’s strength. It is why God always forgives our sin/weakness. Thank God for God! And, thank God, we can fail and know we are still loved enough to be forgiven and get back on the God-side of things.

  2. Shirley, your insights on this are phenomenal! Thanks so much for sharing your well thought out response!

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